


Love Unforgotten

by Empress_of_Yaoi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol deals with our problems quite nicely thank you, Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Twelve Days of Smutness, first time with another man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Yaoi/pseuds/Empress_of_Yaoi
Summary: He couldn't bear it anymore, the agreement they'd made over twenty years ago ripping his heart to shreds. He wanted nothing more than to hold the man he'd loved for all these years in his arms again. But he couldn't...
Relationships: Nara Shikaku/Yamanaka Inoichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: The Twelve Days of Smutness 2020





	Love Unforgotten

"So… Your son and Choza's, huh?"

They'd just left Hokage Tower, having ended a meeting that Shikaku would rather forget had ever taken place. Things were going to change around here, with the Akatsuki hunting down the Tailed Beasts; they would be coming after the Nine Tails soon enough. And Konoha also still had Orochimaru to contend with. Talking to his old teammate was a nice distraction, even if the subject was a bit…  _ touchy _ , between the two of them.

"Yeah… I should've seen it coming, I guess."

"You mean because of prior experiences?" Inoichi's tone held but a little annoyance, it always did when these memories got stirred up.

"I suppose so… That was a long time ago, though…"

"It was." They walked quietly for a little while, both lost in their own thoughts, "Shikaku, did I really mean so little to you?" Hurt laced into the voice of the blonde man, he did not look up.

"No. Please Inoichi,  _ never _ think that."

"Then what  _ should _ I think? You tossed me aside without a moment's thought…"

"I  _ did _ think about it, my friend. I hardly slept for weeks, you know that. I just… I couldn't, I _ couldn't _ Inoichi… The clan, my responsibilities… I couldn't just ignore all of that. And neither could you."

"You don't seem to have a problem with your son being –"

"Times have changed Inoichi, you know that. It's not the same as when we were younger."

The blonde's chuckle held no humor in it as he softly shook his head, "Times didn't change, Shikaku. Not much.  _ You've _ changed…"

The other man sighed, wiping a hand over tired eyes, "Maybe."

They walked together, each lost in their own thoughts, each afraid to speak up again. Each thinking about what  _ could  _ have been, about what  _ actually _ happened, about how much that fucking  _ hurt. _

So they walked silently through Konoha's busy streets. Ignoring the rustle and bustle around them.

They were nearing Inoichi's house now, the scent of flowers already strong on the wind.

The Nara smiled lightly, these smells always brought him back to a different time, a better one. A time before his duty to his clan and village had crippled him. A time before everything fell apart.

If only he could revisit those times once more…

"Shikaku," The man spoke softly, afraid to break the silence growing between them, but trying to salvage at least  _ something _ nonetheless, "Would you like to come in for a moment? Just… old friends?" He offered a hesitant smile, knowing their friendship had never been the same after.

For a few seconds, the Nara contemplated the offer. Possibilities swirling in his mind, but certain that even sparing them a mere  _ thought _ was futile. Silly even. He swallowed, "Yes, just… old friends."

The words hurt him more than he'd ever care to admit.

So he followed the other man into the flower shop, bidding the girl dressed in purple a good morning. There was a fond expression on his face; they were all growing up so fast.

Inoichi held open the door that led to the Yamanaka's actual home, waiting for his friend to go in first. A lump settled in the blond’s throat as he watched the man he'd known for so long smile at his daughter. His precious little girl that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Some good  _ had  _ come of it: their beautiful children, the continuation of their clans. Even though it hurt, Inoichi couldn't deny that fact.

He swallowed as the dark-haired man brushed past him, closing his eyes for but a second as the emotions he kept hidden away every single day threatened to get the better of him. But he pushed them aside again. Old friends, that's all they were now.

Following the other man inside, he offered him a cup of tea. He didn’t wait for an answer, starting for the open kitchen without pause. However, when the other man refused, Inoichi had no idea how to continue; awkwardly watching the man by the doorway. 

"No, thank you Inoichi," he took a steadying breath, looking around the cozy living room, "Maybe… Do you have anything a little stronger?"

Inoichi almost smiled, it was no secret that Shikaku liked his spirits, but it was still so early in the day… Deciding it didn't matter, he walked over to the small liquor cabinet against the back wall, "I've got shochu, sake and whiskey. Does any of that sound good?"

Looking back at his guest, he noticed the man still hadn't moved from his spot just beyond the door. It made him feel insecure; did Shikaku even want to be here? Or was the Nara just humoring him? It shouldn't matter, but it did. Right now, that little piece of information meant the world to Inoichi Yamanaka. But there was no way he could ask. So he just stood there, worrying the inside of his lip.

"Whiskey sounds perfect." A small smile graced the Nara's lips, his head cocked to the side just slightly. He was unsure what to do with himself, unsure what Inoichi wanted from him exactly. So he stood, all but motionless, hoping the other man would give him a sign; anything to show he was actually welcome here, that it hadn't been an obligation, a mistake even, on the blonde's part.

He watched his old friend take the bottle from the cabinet, walking over to the small kitchen to grab two glasses. Moving back to the low table, Inoichi sat down, looking up at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"You don't want to sit down?" He bit his lip nervously; eyes searching the Nara for a sign, a hint –  _ Anything _ . He watched the man sigh before coming over to the table. Shikaku dropped himself beside Inoichi and a little hope flared up in the blonde's chest. But he immediately suppressed it again; Shikaku had only sat down where he'd placed the glass after all.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have ice." He didn't look up, pouring them both a double before setting the bottle aside.

"Doesn't matter Inoichi, it's fine."

"Okay… Eh, good."

Shikaku smirked, raising the glass slightly in an almost-mock toast, "Here's to old friends…"

Inoichi replicated the motion, "To old friends." He took a sip, the liquor burning his throat. He coughed.

A humorless chuckle escaped the Nara, "Is a toast to our friendship so hard to stomach, Inoichi?"

The blonde closed his eyes for a moment, forcing back tears as he remembered the man beside him had once called him 'Ichi' – a name that held endless feelings inside. But no, he was Inoichi to him now, there was no longer a need for such useless thoughts. Nothing had come of it and nothing ever would. He smiled bravely, his eyes trained on a spot just above his friend's left ear, "Just not used to drinking whiskey at nine in the morning, Shikaku."

'Shikaku'… Once this man had called him 'Love'… He swallowed, "Shame, whiskey's best before the worries of the day cloud its taste."

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you?" A teasing tone had slipped in his voice as Inoichi Yamanaka tried desperately to ban everything else out.

"I would. Not that it matters much…" he sighed, "Ichi… If you can't even  _ look  _ at me, why did you invite me in?"

The blonde swallowed as the old name rolled easily off his friend's lips, tears trying to overwhelm him once more, "It's not that… I just… I'm sorry, Love." He spoke quietly, turning his eyes toward the face of the man he'd loved his entire life.

Shikaku shook his head softly, unshed tears burning in his eyes, "Don't apologize… It's hard for me too…"

He watched his friend bite his lip, pushing back the tears. Inoichi swallowed hard, "It's in the past now, Shikaku. It never even happened, wasn't that the agreement?"

"It was," the Nara took a thoughtful sip of his drink, "I hate that."    
  


A humorless chuckle shook the man beside him, but he didn't speak, green eyes still locked into his own. Shikaku’s breath hitched, "Ichi –"

"Stop calling me that, Shikaku," a tear started its descent on a pale cheek, "Stop calling me that. Every time you call me that, every single time, you break my heart all over again. Stop calling me that…" Quiet sobs shook him, and he bowed his head to hide the tears.

"I know," he swallowed, setting the glass back down, "I  _ know _ that, Ichi. But how can I  _ not _ call you that, when all I want – all I've  _ ever _ wanted – is to hold you every night? How can I hold back when you're so close, when there's nothing but a few inches of empty space between us? How can I  _ not _ love you?" He stretched out his hand, gingerly stroking the crying man's back, his own tears staining his cheeks.

Suddenly, Inoichi pulled away; getting to his feet he moved back as many paces as the small room allowed, "Don't touch me, Shikaku, don't talk to me like that."    
  


The blond’s back touched the wall, his voice was a mere whisper, "Don't get so close to me. We can't – " He doubled over, the pain in his heart unbearable, he fell to his knees, "Please just… Just go, Shikaku. I can't…"    
  


He could hear the other man move, standing up. Shikaku walked by him, opening the door and disappearing into the flower shop. Inoichi sat on the floor for a long time, gut-wrenching sobs tearing through his body.

XXX

More than a week had passed since he saw Inoichi last; days filled with agonizing thoughts, nights filled with haunting, unbearable dreams. Shikaku Nara slammed his fist against the wall of his house. Biting his lip to keep from crying again.

"Honey?" Yoshino's voice sounded concerned, he couldn't deal with that right now, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he croaked out, "Just stressed out. Leave me be."

Warm, slender arms wrapped around him, and the man involuntarily shuddered, "You can talk to me about it, Honey."

"No. Can't. Proper clearance," his words came out clipped, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Her arms felt so terribly  _ wrong. _ He pulled himself free, sighing as he felt like he could almost breathe again. Almost, because Ichi wasn't there. Would  _ never _ be there.

"You've never let that stop you before… Come on, what's wrong?" she came towards him now, and he nearly lifted his upper lip to growl at the woman. He knew he was being irrational, animalistic even, but suddenly her very presence made him sick to his stomach. Without a word, he turned on his heels. Hands shoved deep inside his pockets, Shikaku Nara retreated from his home, his wife, his clan. He walked away, wishing the figurative gesture could be made real somehow. Wishing that  _ somehow _ he could turn back the clock, or change the present. That he could hold the man he had loved for all these years in his arms again. It wasn't possible though, so he just walked. He didn't notice the busy streets, didn't notice the annoyed looks and irritated words as he roughly pushed his way through. He had no idea where he was going, but it didn't matter. All he knew was that he needed to be alone right now. That there was no way he could deal with this life anymore. That he only wanted one thing, one person. Everything else was irrelevant.

XXX

" _ Dad!  _ What the  _ fuck _ , man!" Shikaku almost chuckled as his son tried to pull up his pants, blushing bright. Choji was no better off as the little meadow his feet had brought him to had already been occupied by the heated teens. Out of courtesy, he turned his head away, but Shikaku knew full well that it would do nothing to ease either of their embarrassment.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't realize you were here," he turned to leave again, only to be stopped by his son's voice.

"Dad? What's wrong? I've never seen you like this…"

The elder Nara turned back for a moment, flashing the two a weary smile, "I'm just… Caught up in old memories, I guess… Don't worry about it too much, son. It's not important…" heaving a deep sigh, he continued on his way, moving deeper into the forest. Silence surrounded him and within moments, he became aware of the soft footsteps following him, but Shikaku didn't look back. The one trailing him would speak when ready. Minutes passed, and Shikaku put more and more distance between himself and the little meadow, almost forgetting about the person following in his footsteps as once again his memories dragged him back to a simpler time.

"So I'm not important?" Inoichi's voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

"You are. It's just not important to them – they shouldn't be made to worry about things that don't have anything to do with them."

"Don't they? Have anything to do with them?"

"They don't Inoichi," he briefly glanced over his shoulder. The blonde was walking only a few steps behind him, his posture mirroring his own. Hands deep inside pockets, head bowed down as they slowly walked along the forest path.

"Shikaku… Why? Why did you bring all this up again?"

"I couldn't help it, Inoichi. Not anymore."

"Why?"

"It hurts too much." Shikaku said simply.

A small sigh, "This hurts even more, though…"

"Maybe…" they stayed quiet for several long minutes, their feet dragging them along the path. When he finally spoke again, Shikaku's voice was even softer than before, "I'm sorry."

"Already forgiven, Love…" another small sigh sounded from the Yamanaka.

"Still…"

"Don't worry about it, it's not important," a wry smile graced Inoichi's lips. Though he couldn't see it, Shikaku knew.

"It is, to us it is."

"Says who?"

Suddenly, Shikaku turned, surprising the man following close behind. He moved fast; pinning the other man against a tree, hands just above Inoichi's shoulders, legs wide as his knees threatened to give way. His voice was barely audible as he spoke, "Says the guy who was crying on the floor, says the guy who could do nothing to comfort him. Says  _ me _ , Ichi, says  _ you. _ I love you,  _ goddamnit _ . I never  _ stopped  _ loving you. I don't even know how to fucking  _ breathe _ when you're not around, I don't know how to go on anymore.  _ Please _ , just…" he couldn't speak anymore, tears choking out the words as he let his head fall down, "I  _ love  _ you…"

Gentle hands lifted his face, soft lips brushed past his own, "As I love you, but we both know why it can't be."

"Ino, Shikamaru," a quiet whimper escaped the man, "Yoshino, Hanaye…"

"All of them," Inoichi breathed, "Because of all of them…"

Another sob shook Shikaku, "I love you so much…"

The blonde looked at him with tears in his own eyes, his voice thick, "I know. I love you too, more than I could ever say…"

The Nara broke away, wiping his face with his hand as he turned his back on the other man, "It can't be."

"It never could. You were right all those years ago. I've always known it, I just…"

"I know…"

" _ Damn you morons! _ " Shikamaru brushed through the shrubbery, his boyfriend following close behind, "Are you two fucking  _ insane _ ?!" he held still, a few steps between his father and himself. Breathing heavily, the younger Nara trembled.

"Shikamaru…"

" _ Shut up, _ Inoichi, I don't want to  _ hear _ it!" his eyes were clouded with tears and as the Akimichi softly wrapped an arm around him, the boy leaned into the comforting touch.

Choji looked at the two men standing before them, "For how long?"

A humorless chuckle escaped his lover's father, "Before you were born."

"You wouldn't have been, otherwise," a sad smile on his face, Inoichi pushed himself away from the tree, "Well, _ you _ still would have, but…"

"I get it, I wouldn't have. Ino wouldn't have."

Shikaku could only nod, his throat closing up as he watched the love of his life slowly walk away. He resisted the urge to follow him, to pull him into his arms. There was nothing either of them could do. Turning, he left as well, walking in the opposite direction. His knees all but gave way under him, but he steeled himself, forced his legs to continue walking, forced his lungs to breathe.

XXX

The months went by too slow, Inoichi found that he wished time to speed up. Wished for his body to reach old age and give in. Wished for his consciousness to slip into oblivion. He smiled wryly as he took another sip, the morning whiskey had become a necessity. There was no way to make it through yet another lonely day without. Carefully, he allowed his mind to wander back to the time he'd sat at this table, drinking whiskey too early in the day, with Shikaku Nara by his side. A quaky sigh escaped him. It still hurt, he hadn't had enough to drink yet.

"Dad?"    
  


A young voice called out to him from the flower shop, but he disregarded her. It still hurt too much. Sighing, he poured himself another glass.    
  


"You're drinking  _ again _ ?!" Glass and bottle alike were yanked away from him, "You're turning into a  _ drunk, _ dad!"

He chuckled humorlessly, "I already am, Ino. Give that back please. I need it," he didn't look up at her, instead continuing to stare ahead as his gaze was directed inwards.

"No! I'm  _ not _ giving your damned whiskey back!" It was clear she wanted to say more, but he didn't want to hear it. So he got to his feet and left. Without another word he walked through the flower shop. Passing his wife, he resisted the urge to shove her away – it wasn't her fault. It had never been her or Yoshino's fault. Once out on the street, he made his way to the bar he knew would be open despite the early morning – it was the one bar around here that never closed.

Pushing open the door, green eyes scanned the dusky room for a brief moment. Shrugging, he dragged himself across the threshold, dropping down on the closest empty barstool. There was only one other body in the bar, but Inoichi paid it no mind, "Whiskey, double."

The barman nodded, moving away a few steps to fulfill the order. From the other end of the bar, a humorless chuckle sounded, "Picked up my habit, did you Ichi?"

His breath hitched, Inoichi swallowed before hissing at the other man, "Stop calling me that!"

"I already told you, I can't."

Inoichi sighed, nodding his thanks as a triple serving of whiskey appeared before him. The barman nodded back at him before disappearing into the back. He sighed again, "Then  _ learn, _ Shikaku.  _ Please _ …"

"No," he slowly raised his body from its slumped position, getting to his feet and walking over to the blonde. Leaning over, he whispered in the man's ear, "I  _ can't _ , Ichi. I love you too much," He departed then, leaving the Yamanaka to his drink. He would have to order more; it still hurt.

XXX

Asuma's funeral had been sober, the gathered shinobi quiet as they mourned the loss of yet another friend. There would be more, they all knew it. Shikaku turned to his son, intending to throw a comforting arm around the boy's shoulders, but found those shoulders to be already occupied by another arm; Choji Akimichi was comforting his boyfriend as best as he could, while at the same time needing the comfort of their embrace just as much. Shikaku sighed quietly, not even  _ this _ distraction was granted then. He slowly walked away, fighting the urge to run. He gasped as soft hands clutched his arm; Yoshino was looking for a little comfort. He grit his teeth, forcing himself to stay put, to not pull away from her again.

"Honey, come on home. We'll see if there's something simple to eat, maybe get ourselves a drink and just talk, okay?"

He fought the urge to gag, tried to look as if he wasn't disgusted by the thought of merely being in the same room as this woman. The woman he'd married, the one that had given birth to his son. He allowed her to pull him along, to drag him towards the house that he'd come to resent. The house where her scent lingered on everything. Even his clothes, freshly washed – they smelled like  _ her _ . He couldn't bear it anymore. But he  _ had _ to. The agreement made almost twenty years ago forced him to. Her touch burned his flesh, the mere sight of her stung his eyes. The bed they shared was a foul trap, designed to nibble on his soul. Tears streaked his face and for once, he made no attempt to hide them. She would think they were for Asuma. Not for Inoichi, for himself, as they truly were.

"I know Honey, I know it hurts. I miss him too."

She didn't understand – how could she? He would come to miss Asuma Sarutobi too, in time. But for now, his tears and the gaping hole in his heart – they both screamed for Inoichi Yamanaka. Shikaku bowed his head, desperate sobs shook his body as his wife ushered him into the living room. She left for a few minutes, and Shikaku briefly pondered the possibilities; his mind dazed from regret, pain and loss. He could leave her, right now. She'd never know how to find him. All he had to do was move quickly. He could put a kunai to his throat, abandon this life filled with nothing but pain. He could give in, tell her –  _ no, _ he couldn't. Not any of it. He sighed.

She returned to him, a sad smile on her face as she handed him a glass. Whiskey. A hollow chuckle fell off his lips. But then he shrugged, tipping back the liquor before placing the glass on the table before him.

"Honey…" she hesitated.

"Don't. Just leave me alone," he heard her comply, sighed as he heard the bedroom door close behind her. Dropping his head in his hands, Shikaku cried.

Time had passed, it could have been hours, it could have been only minutes, he did not know. The tears had stopped, but his head remained in his hands, his breath shallow and quaky.

"You're not crying because of Asuma, are you dad?" his son's tone was soft as the young body gently sat down beside him on the couch. He shook his head softly, hadn't the strength to deny it.

"Dad…"

"Please don't. I can't…  _ Please _ , Shikamaru…" the boy moved away, leaving the man alone with his thoughts once more. His head was pounding. Whiskey. He needed more whisky. Enough to forget, even if it was just for one more night. He needed to forget.

XXX

He'd seen him leave, had seen how Yoshino grabbed his arm like Hanaye grabbed his own. A small sigh escaped him. Hanaye ignored it, she always did. Pulling him along, she walked home. He allowed her to drag him into the living room, to push him down on the pillows, he didn't look up.

"Ino's with the boys."

He nodded, that was the best place to be for her now.

"You're  _ here, _ Inoichi, with  _ me. _ You're  _ home _ ."

He nodded again, it was undeniably true.

"We're  _ married _ , doesn't that mean  _ anything _ to you? Don't  _ I _ mean anything to you?"

"Of course you do," his voice came out raspy, but he hardly noticed.

"Sixteen years, Inoichi!"

He mumbled, "Almost seventeen…"

"I  _ know _ that!" she stood, leaning over him, her harsh tone suddenly becoming but a little softer, "Have you loved him all this time?"

Without conscious thought, he nodded again, "Always."

She turned away from him, softly sobbing, "Then  _ go _ ."

He stared ahead.

" _ Go,  _ Inoichi! Go to  _ him _ ! You're not mine, you never were," she sighed, dropping down beside him. Finally turning his head, he caught her sad, weary smile, "Go to Shikaku, Inoichi. Go to the man that holds your heart because I can't live with being second best any longer. Just go…" she turned away from him, obviously waiting for him to leave. But he couldn't.

"Hanaye…"

She was crying, her back turned to him, "You've done your duty, Inoichi. You've produced your heir. I've always known that was all that was on your mind. I've always known you didn't love me. I've always known there was someone else. Go see him Inoichi, and take my blessing with you," she got up, walking up the stairs that would lead her to their bedroom. No,  _ her _ bedroom. He didn't belong there, he never had.

Sighing, Inoichi Yamanaka rose to his feet. She was right, he had fulfilled his duty. His clan would live on. Now it was time for him to live as well.

XXX

Soft footsteps walked through the hall without hesitation. He didn't look up. They made it to the door of the living room, but he still didn't look up. The half-empty bottle before him, the sticky glass, it gave him away. But he didn't care anymore. Couldn't care anymore. From the threshold, a voice called his name, he tried not to hear it.

"Shikaku, look at me."

He didn't move.

"Damnit," Muttered curses preceded the soft footsteps. He was pulled to his feet by strong hands, his chin was lifted gently, forcing him to look up in green eyes.

"Shikaku, I can't do this anymore."

He looked away, but the hand under his chin held his head firmly in place.

"Please, Shikaku…  _ Look  _ at me."

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to hear the words.

"I love you."

Tears filled his eyes, he couldn't ignore this voice, these words, "I love you too, Inoichi. I always have," sobbing desperately, he finally broke down, hands tightly clenching the shirt of the man he'd loved his entire life. Arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

"I'm not leaving again, Shikaku. I'm never leaving you again. I don't care about children, about wives. We've done our part, our clans will live on, one generation at a time. I love you, Shikaku, stay with me. Please stay with me."

"I will, I will Ichi. First and only, Ichi, I love you…"

Standing in the doorway, Yoshino felt her knees give way under the sheer weight of the words her husband had spoken. Collapsing to the floor, she stared at the two men through her tears. Hoping against hope that she was dreaming, that someone was pulling a cruel prank. 'First and only,' had he never loved her? Had he never cared? Only the clan… Always the clan… Wrapping her arms around herself, the woman watched the two men's embrace.

Behind her, Shikamaru, Choji and Ino watched the scene as well. It was Choji who stepped forward, pulled the woman off the floor, guided her into her bedroom. No longer theirs, just hers. He softly helped her to lie down on the bed that suddenly seemed way too big, hesitating as she pushed him away, " _ Go, _ leave me  _ alone, _ " she whispered, desperate sobs shaking her body, closing off her airway.

_ 'First and only…' _

He held him in his arms as the sobs quieted down, lifted his chin to kiss the tears off his cheeks. Strong hands cupped his face, pulled him in, soft lips kissed his own. Feverishly, hungrily. They broke apart, gasping for air, "Never leave me, Ichi, never let me be so stupid ever again."

He brushed his thumb over newly wet cheeks, "I won't. We've fulfilled our duty, Love. I'm never letting you go again, I can't. I can't live without you anymore. I never could."

XXX

They had no place left to go, staying here would be cruel to the woman who had given her heart to the man that never gave his own in return. So they left, sure of only one thing; they would be together. It didn't matter where. For now, Inoichi led him by the hand, turning into the hotel district. They would make do, as long as they were together, nothing else mattered. Not anymore, never again.

Inoichi chose a door at random, pulling the other man inside. He couldn't speak, the lump in his throat preventing him from even breathing properly, but it didn't seem to matter. The woman behind the counter recognized him, or maybe she recognized Shikaku. Maybe she recognized their clan symbols – it was of no importance. She nodded in a friendly manner, sliding a key across the polished wood. He tried to focus on her words, but all he could make out was 'second floor,' looking down at the key, he nodded. There was a room number on the tag; He would figure it out. Still holding Shikaku's hand, he started up the stairs. Second floor. Room 209. He would find it. They would be alone. They would be together. Nothing else mattered. It was time to live, and for the first time since a time his mind did not dare remember, Inoichi felt alive again. Room 209, he found it. His hand trembled as he tried to push the key in the lock, he kept missing. Shikaku chuckled.

His dazed mind had started to gather again as Inoichi pulled him inside, he'd understood most of what the woman behind the counter told them, even as he realized Inoichi didn't. It wasn't important anyway. All she did was explain where the room was located and wish them a good stay. A smirk appeared on Shikaku's face, nodding to the woman, he allowed the blonde to pull him along. He alone saw her knowing wink, it almost made him chuckle. Inoichi moved slowly, too slowly. But he didn't try to quicken the pace. Too much had happened in too little time. As he found the room, Inoichi let out a small sound, Shikaku smiled. Ichi still sounded cute to him. As the other man fumbled around with the key, he waited patiently. A frustrated sound escaped the blonde, and Shikaku couldn't hold back the small chuckle. Placing one hand over Inoichi's, he stilled the blond's movements softly. Without a word, he took the key, calmly turning the lock. He opened the door, gently pushing Inoichi through before following. As the Yamanaka gasped, the Nara chuckled again. Double bed. The woman really  _ had  _ understood. Closing the door behind him, Shikaku turned the lock, leaving the key inside so that even someone holding the skeleton key wouldn't be able to get in. Turning back to Inochi, he swallowed, "I love you."

Tears ran down his face, "I love you too, Shikaku," taking a step forward, he pressed his lips against the Nara's, opening them immediately as Shikaku's tongue requested access. Pressing their bodies flush against each other, he could hear the wooden door creak. Shikaku chuckled, softly pushing him away.

"I think I want to keep the door in one piece, Ichi…" he took him by the hand, guiding the blond to the bed. Sitting down first, Shikaku extended his arms, immediately wrapping them around Inoichi as the Yamanaka straddled his lap. They looked each other in the eyes, feeling a sudden surge of anxiety shoot through both their bodies.

"Love…"

He smirked, "I know, Ichi…"

Chuckling, Inoichi bowed his head, resting it on the Nara's shoulder, his cheeks pink, "Isn't it really weird to get embarrassed  _ now _ of all times?" he asked quietly.

Shikaku swallowed, suddenly very aware of his hands resting on the Yamanaka's back, "If that's the case, we're both guilty, Ichi…"

Another chuckle shook the blond, and he pushed the raven-haired man on his back, hands resting on the Nara's shoulders as he leaned over him, "I'm just happy to be with you…"

A hand snaked up, fingers brushing along his inner thigh. Shikaku smirked, "Liar."

Flushed, he shied away from the touch, rolling over to lay beside the other man, "That's not what I meant…"

"I know…" Shikaku shifted so he lay on his side, facing the Yamanaka, "Still…" his fingers ghosted over the other man's arm, wrist to shoulder, "I want to, if you do too."

Inoichi chuckled nervously, feeling a little self-conscious, "From what I know, we may be missing some… Supplies…"

The Nara shifted, slipping one hand inside his pocket, "No we don't."

The blonde swallowed, watching the other man pull out a bottle of lube, "Where…?"

A chuckle sounded through the quiet room, "I have a son with a quick mind, don't worry about it, Ichi. I…" his voice trailed off and he bit his lip as his gaze drifted away from the man before him.

"Shikaku, Love... please look at me…" he waited a few seconds until dark eyes locked into his own, "I… I want to…" leaning over, he softly kissed his love on the lips, mumbling, "I want to feel you inside me, Love…"

Shikaku swallowed. Inoichi's words had just taken away the slight fear he'd felt at his own proposition, but he was still apprehensive. Pulling the blond closer, he whispered into his ear, "Listen Ichi, I can't promise you I won't hurt you… If you –"

"I know, Love, I don't care. Just…" he shivered a little, "Just try to be gentle, okay?"

"Always."

Unexpectedly, Inoichi moved, pushing himself up, he got off the bed, taking a few steps to close the curtains before turning back to the man still laying on his back. Shikaku was looking at him, his head turned upward, "Love… I…" he took a deep breath, slowly undoing the waistband of the black funeral suit they were both still wearing. He let it fall to the ground, his hands taking hold of the hem of his shirt instead. Shikaku still watched him, dark eyes slowly clouding over with lust. He took another quaky breath, pulling the shirt off in one swift move before dropping that to the floor as well. Shaking, he couldn't go any further, walking back to the bed and around it so he could pull his lover up, "Don't just lay there looking at me…" Inoichi swallowed, "It's embarrassing…"

Shikaku's voice was hoarse, his hands softly gliding over Inoichi's stomach as he sat on the edge of the bed, "You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about, Ichi…"

He took a small step back, "Still…"

A playful smirk pulled at the corner of Shikaku's mouth. Getting up, he all but ripped his own waistband off before discarding his shirt. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around the blond, enjoying the feel of skin on skin, "I'm not going to push you into anything, Ichi. I swear. But…" he took a deep breath, gently taking hold of one of his lover's hands he placed it on his own groin, looking straight into green eyes, "You do things to me, Ichi…"

The blond's eyes widened as his hand was suddenly placed on the other man's full erection. Swallowing, he felt his cheeks burn. Shikaku's own face was just as red though, so he tried not to let it bother him too much. Trembling lightly, he tentatively stroked the hot flesh under his hand, eliciting a low moan from the Nara.    
  


"Is this okay?" Inoichi whispered, feeling more than a little nervous. But Shikaku moaned again, touching his forehead to Inoichi's shoulder as he pressed himself up against the blond's hand. 

Shikaku was nodding as he panted, hands clenching the other man's shoulders. Inoichi couldn't hold back a small chuckle, bringing his other arm around to steady the Nara, he placed his hand on the small of Shikaku’s back. The man was trembling in his arms, panting and moaning. It was unbelievable how easy this was, but it wasn't what Inoichi really wanted.

Shikaku whimpered as the hand that had been stroking him suddenly disappeared again, getting slid around him to join up with its counterpart, "Ichi…" involuntarily, he rocked his hips, pushing himself against the other man in an unconscious attempt to create the friction his body craved.

A chuckle shook the Yamanaka, "Feeling a little desperate?" but Shikaku only moaned again, pressing up against him even harder.    
  


He let his hands wander down to the Nara's hips, stilling them as he pulled away a little, "Love, I don't want to do this with pants on. For one, neither of us has a spare," He chuckled, "Besides," His eyes sought Shikaku's, "I want to do this right, Love."

Shikaku swallowed, forcing himself to take a step back. He hooked his thumbs behind the waistband of his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers in one swift motion. Taking a step forward, he all but touched Inoichi's body with his own, smirking at the shock on the other man's face.

He watched the man take a small step back, curious what he was planning. But as Shikaku grabbed a hold of his pants and started sliding them down, Inoichi could feel his cheeks burn even hotter than before; his eyes wide as he swallowed against the lump in his throat. As Shikaku moved back up, he tried his best not to look at the now naked form of the Nara – staring at the man's ponytail instead. Shikaku stepped forward until there wasn't an inch between them, smirking, his tone soft as he spoke, "You can look, Ichi."

Inoichi gulped, biting his lip to refrain from whimpering, his hands twitching at his sides, his eyes drifted to the ceiling, "Shikaku…" he squeaked, "Please, I-I-I mean…"

"I know, it's okay," softly, he brought up one hand to stroke the blonde's face, "I didn't mean to make you awkward. But if you want to do this right, without clothes, it kind of comes down to either getting naked, or abstaining. And like I said, I'm not going to push you to do anything Ichi, but you do things to my body that I have no control over…"

A slow smile crept over Inoichi's face, turning naughty as he finally looked Shikaku in the eyes, "I do things to  _ your _ body?" he asked, his tone barely above a whisper. The blond swallowed, moving before he could psych himself out again. Grabbing the Nara's hand, he placed it upon his own throbbing length. Sighing as he felt how Shikaku instantly massaged the hot flesh gently through the black pants. He slumped forward, feeling how his lover caught him with one arm, wrapping it around him softly. Pressing his face against the crook of Shikaku's neck, he bit his lip, his arms coming up around Shikaku’s neck.

Shikaku chuckled, pulling his hand away, "No change of clothes, remember?" He smiled as the man in his arms moaned, trying to follow his hand with his hips. But Shikaku moved back a little, gently untangling himself from the Yamanaka, "Ichi, lose the pants."

Suddenly nervous again, Inoichi swallowed, biting his lip. He gingerly brought his hands up, but as they reached the hem of his pants, he couldn't go through with it. Swallowing again, he looked at the Nara helplessly, all but whispering, "Turn around Shikaku… I can't…" he looked away shyly, feeling his cheeks burn for the umpteenth time. But Shikaku only nodded before doing as requested. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the dark fabric down over his hips, his legs, before finally stepping out of his pants. He took another breath, calming his nerves a little. Acting on instinct, Inoichi stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his lover from behind, lifting his head to whisper in his ear, "Thank you…"

Shikaku shivered as he felt a hot breath on his ear, moaned softly as Inoichi's tone, nodding, he stroked his lover's face, "Anything you need, Ichi."

"In that case…" he bit his lip, deciding that actions would speak louder than words, he shifted, pulling Shikaku with him to the bed. Laying down on his side, he motioned for his lover to do the same.

Shikaku almost smirked when he realized Inoichi was still shielding himself with his leg, but he held it back. Inoichi was clearly nervous and the last thing that Shikaku ever wanted to do was hurt this man again. Moving to lay beside him, Shikaku smiled softly. They lay on their sides, only a little space between them, just smiling at each other, growing more comfortable with the situation. Minutes slowly ticked by, but the two men didn't notice. After a while, Inoichi gingerly started stroking Shikaku's arm, growing more confident with every stroke. Shikaku smiled encouragingly, but didn't move, realizing the other man needed a little time.

Inoichi was silently grateful for his lover's patience, softly smiling back at him as his touches became a little firmer. He let his hand wander from the Nara's hand to his hip, studying Shikaku's face intently for any signs that he might be uncomfortable. But still the man only smiled at him. Feeling a little nervous, he let his hand glide further down, ghosting over toned buttocks. A naughty smile crept over his face and he squeezed a little, causing Shikaku to gasp, then chuckle.

"Cheeky Ichi… Hmmm," moaning softly, he moved in to capture his lover's lips. The kiss was slow and sweet; he could feel Inoichi's arm pulling him in closer. He smiled against soft lips, mumbling, "I love you, Ichi."

Inoichi's reply came in an unexpected fashion, letting his hand brush over tanned skin, he trailed it back over Shikaku's hip before dipping lower, gingerly stroking the Nara's erection. Shikaku moaned and the blonde relinquished his lips, smiling that naughty smile again.    
  


"You like that?" he asked softly, chuckling as Shikaku only moaned again, his hand aimlessly wandering the Yamanaka's chest, seemingly searching for something to hold on to as his eyes fell closed.

"Ichi…  _ Ah,  _ Ichi… Please…  _ Ah,  _ **_Fuck! Ichi!_ ** _ "  _ arching his back, he gasped, his climax flooding all his senses.

Inoichi smiled, feeling just a little proud that he'd somehow mustered up the courage to go through with it after all, but mostly he enjoyed the sight of the man he'd loved for all of these years, shuddering as he emptied himself unto his hand.

Slowly coming back, Shikaku blushed a little, mumbling, " _ Damn _ Ichi… I  _ never _ cum that fast…" he didn't look up, his head nestled against the Yamanaka's chest. He could feel him chuckle, before slowly lifting Shikaku's chin.

"I'll just take it as a compliment," the blonde whispered, placing a soft kiss on the Nara's forehead.    
  


Shikaku chuckled lightly, disregarding his blush as he recaptured Inoichi's lips. Slowly mapping out his lover's mouth, he placed one hand on the Yamanaka's hip, pushing ever so slightly. Inoichi allowed him to push him over on his back, breath hitching as gentle fingers enclosed his cock.

"It's okay Ichi," he whispered against the blonde's lips, "I won't do anything you don't want, I promise," pulling back both his hands and his lips for a moment, he just looked at his lover, giving the other man time to gather himself.

Inoichi nodded at him, biting his lip nervously, "I'm being childish, huh?"    
  


Shikaku shifted, straddling the other man so could properly look into his green eyes, "No, you're not. I don't care if you're nervous Ichi, I am too. But please don't ever call that being childish, because it's not," he said seriously, "Maybe you need a little more time than I do, I don't care, okay? I love you."

Inoichi looked up at him, biting his lip again before wrapping his arms around Shikaku's neck, "Love, I've waited for almost twenty-six years… don't make me wait any longer just because I'm a little anxious, okay?" pulling the other man down, he kissed him feverishly, only to gasp as he felt Shikaku's hand back around his member. He arched his back, moaning as the raven-haired man trailed hot kisses along his throat. Trembling uncontrollably, he mumbled incomprehensible words, completely lost in the attention that Shikaku Nara bestowed upon him.

Shikaku smiled, continuing to massage the other man's cock like he'd only ever done with his own before. Still, it seemed that he was doing this right, as Inoichi's panted moans became louder and louder. Still unarticulated, still completely incomprehensible, but every now and then – between all the other sounds that fell from the Yamanaka's lips – Shikaku could decipher his own name. He had never heard a more amazing sound in his life. As Inoichi tensed up, he sealed his lips to the blond's, instinctively realizing that the upcoming string of sounds from his lover might prove to be deafening.

Even with his own lips muffling the sound, Shikaku winced slightly at the volume Inoichi was apparently capable of. Suddenly utterly positive that not only the entire hotel, but most likely at least the entire street if not the entire village had involuntarily been made to listen in on his lover's pleasure, he chuckled a little awkwardly.

As Inoichi looked up at him, he pulled a face, whispering, "That was  _ bad _ …" he chuckled along with Shikaku, who, by now, had burst into a full-blown belly laugh. Rolling over on his back, he looked at the blond, still laughing.

"So  _ loud, _ Ichi… So  _ damn loud! _ "

The Yamanaka blushed, pushing his face against the Nara's chest. Shikaku wrapped his arms around him, still chuckling, "Remind me to get a  _ really _ good pair of earplugs…"

Inoichi swatted at his lover's hip playfully, mumbling something that the other couldn't make out.

"Ichi, I didn't mean to embarrass you… I'm sorry, I just – "

A blond head shot up, an embarrassed smile on his face, "It's okay… I kinda surprised  _ myself _ there…" he chuckled again, "Never been loud before, Shikaku…"

The Nara's chuckles slowly died down, leaving only a fond smile on his face. He softly stroked ruffled locks, "I think I like it, besides…" a thoughtful look appeared on his face, "I honestly can't remember sex ever being anything less than a chore…"

"That why you only have one kid?" He slowly sat up, hands on either side of the Nara's body as he studied the face of the man he loved intently.

"Yeah… probably… You?"

Inoichi shrugged, "Couldn't. She couldn't. Doesn't matter."

Recognizing there was pain in the green eyes above him, Shikaku didn't push the matter, instead touching his thumb to soft lips. Inoichi smiled at him, placing a quick kiss on Shikaku's thumb, "Hey, don't get all down here, okay?" he said softly, "I've made my peace with it years ago…"    
  


Inoichi watched his lover nod, taking a deep breath, "Do you… Eh…" Looking away again, he felt Shikaku's eyes on him, "I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Ichi. And like I said, only if you want to."

He swallowed, "I do. I'm just…" a soft smile appeared on his face and he turned his gaze back to Shikaku, "Just a little embarrassed, I guess… I mean,  _ saying  _ it is…"

Shikaku sighed softly, "I sort of know what I'm doing… But I've never done it before. So… I need to know you'll be okay with telling me how it feels, if I'm going too fast or whatever… Okay?"

Inoichi nodded, "I'll be okay with that, if you keep reminding me…"

"I will. I don't want to hurt you, Ichi… Never again."

A chuckle shook the blond, "You're going to, Shikaku… First time hurts, I know  _ that _ much…"

"Yeah… Tell me if it's too bad, though, please?"

Nodding once more, Inoichi smiled before moving to lay down on his back. As his lover got up, he swallowed. Shikaku picked up the bottle of lube from where it had fallen on the floor, returning to lay beside his lover after. Trailing soft kisses along Inoichi's throat, he straddled one leg, moving his body up for a moment to cover his fingers in the lube. Inoichi's eyes followed his moves, frowning lightly, "Love… Aren't you supposed to, eh… Put that elsewhere?"

Shikaku chuckled a little, "I told you I sort of know what I'm doing, right? And one very important thing would be not to hurry here. Just relax, Ichi." moving his hand down, he frowned lightly, before repositioning himself, laying down beside the blonde once more, "Move up your legs a little so I can reach, okay?"

Biting his lip, Inoichi did as requested, gasping as he felt Shikaku's fingers softly brush around his opening.

"This feel okay?"

He gave him a quaky smile, "Little cold…"

"Sorry…"

"It's fine, it's already warming up, I think…" he swallowed again, feeling a little weird. Inoichi really didn't have another word to describe it; his brain didn't really have enough coherency to dissect the emotions that together created this feeling. So he pushed it aside for now. Shikaku was moving slow, and he could hear a soft moan escape his own throat. Panting, he felt something push against his entrance, before slipping in. Inoichi gasped, staring at Shikaku.

"Is this still okay, Ichi?"

"Ah… Ye-yes… Weird, but…" he bit his lip, unsure how to finish the sentence. Shikaku seemed to take it as a good sign though, something he was glad for.

"And this?"

His hips moved on their own, the wiggling finger inside felt both amazing and totally weird at the same time, but not at all bad, so he nodded again. Suddenly, Shikaku pulled out almost all the way, before slowly sliding back in, "Oh… Ah… Yeah, keep – Ah…"

The raven-haired man chuckled lightly but he did indeed keep going, slowly increasing his pace. Out of nowhere, it hurt – a little. He gasped again, whimpering softly, "Too…  _ Fuck… _ "

Eyes wide, Shikaku pulled back, leaning over this lover, "I'm sorry, Ichi, I'm so sorry…"

A shaky smile drifted his way, "I just… got caught off guard, I guess… It wasn't actually that bad, just… What, eh…?"

Smirking, Shikaku held up two fingers, almost like a salute.

"Ah… suppose it makes sense…"

The Nara cocked his head to the side, "What does?"

"That it hurts a little, because you're… eh,  _ stretching _ … I guess…"

"Yeah… Ichi, if you –"

"No, go on. I just…" he smiled reassuringly, "It's more weird and a little awkward than painful, Love. And I… I really want this, even if I'm nervous, I really want this. So…"

Shikaku nodded again, and soon enough Inoichi felt both fingers slip back inside, his lover wiggled them a little, and he moaned, "Don't… Ah… Just, what you did before, that was good… This is… Not…" he could hear the Nara hold back another chuckle, but Shikaku still complied immediately, pulling out and pushing back in at a languid pace. And as Inoichi started to get used to the slightly unsettling feeling, he realized that it actually felt pretty good, softly asking Shikaku to go faster.

Inoichi had no way of keeping track of time, nor did he want to try, but as Shikaku opened his mouth to speak again, he knew it'd been quite a while, and he also knew what the man wanted to ask this time. So before the words even left the Nara's mouth, he nodded. The discomfort was long gone, and if Shikaku had knowledge of any other ways to make this go smoother, he would have used them by now. So Inoichi just figured that they might as well try now, by all means, because if he was completely honest, he was getting a little impatient himself.

"You sure?" Shikaku's voice trembled, but Inoichi just nodded again, smiling at him, "I'll go slow, you'll tell me if it's bad, right?"

Suddenly, the Yamanaka chuckled, "I think you're more nervous than  _ I  _ am…"

Shikaku smirked, before turning serious again, "I just don't want to hurt you, Ichi…"

"I know. It's going to be fine, Shikaku… If it's too painful, I'll let you know, but you have to trust me on this, and not get all anxious, okay? It… it's getting on my nerves…" he watched Shikaku swallow, before nodding. His eyes glued to tanned hands as they opened the lube bottle once more, bringing the cold substance to the Nara's cock. Inoichi chuckled quietly as he saw the other man wince ever so slightly. But as he got an unobstructed view for a brief moment… He swallowed, that was a  _ lot _ more to take than just two fingers… Still, he didn't say anything, instead watching Shikaku bite his lip nervously, "What's wrong?"

A self-conscious smile crept over the Nara's face, "I eh… I know how this works if you turn over, but… I kinda don't want you to… Unless  _ you _ – "

"Me neither. I think… sit between my legs, okay?" he watched his raven-haired lover comply, almost chuckling at how weird this whole thing felt, briefly wondering if this was what his wife had gone through on their wedding night – but then he violently pushed the thought aside. Lifting his hips a little, he tried to make it easier for Shikaku, but soft hands on his legs stopped him.

"Wait, you're never going to hold that position… maybe…" Shikaku swallowed, his mind gingerly returning to that day when he'd accidentally stumbled upon his son and his boyfriend in the forest. He  _ really _ didn't want to think about his son like that, but they  _ had _ been… Lifting Inoichi's legs a little, he placed them on his hip bones, before sliding in closer, "Does this feel okay, Ichi?"

Panting, the Yamanaka nodded, "Perfect, now hurry a little because I can't really wait any longer, okay?"

Chuckling, he moved a little closer before taking a deep breath. Taking himself in hand, he gently pushed against Inoichi's entrance, sliding in just a little, "Ichi – "

" _ Go, dammit.  _ I told you not to make me wait…"

Shikaku suppressed another chuckle, darn this man could be impatient! But he obeyed, slowly pushing himself in deeper. He moaned softly, these  _ had _ to be the tightest walls he'd ever felt around him…

Inoichi, moaned, biting his lip. Okay, this hurt. This hurt pretty bad. But still not  _ too  _ bad. And Shikaku obviously liked it and – " _ Ay-oh-my-god-that-feels-so-fucking-good!" _

The Nara chuckled lightly, "Yeah? I think…" he pulled back a little, pushing back in – just a  _ little _ harder. Inoichi was back to screaming incomprehensible words and he smiled, waiting for his lover to calm down a little, before smirking, "Locate prostate – check," he chuckled again, all but grinning when the slight movement made Inoichi moan in pleasure. He moved back a little again, thrusting back with the same force he'd applied the time before. For some reason, it caused Inoichi to tighten his muscles a little, and he moaned loudly.

Between panted breaths, Inoichi smiled at him, "Good?"

He nodded, repeating the motion once more, causing his lover to cry out, holding up his hands in an attempt to prevent him from moving again. Shikaku took the hint, stilling inside Inoichi. He waited, not very patiently, but still, nonetheless. When Inoichi could finally manage to speak again, his voice was shaking.

"Not again, too much, just… not there again, Love… Just…" he moaned softly, moving his hips a little. He didn't finish his sentence, but Shikaku figured he'd caught the gist of it. Moving again, he tried to avoid the bundle of nerves that felt like too much for Inoichi. He couldn't help but pick up the pace a little, grunting as he rested his hands on either side of the blond's torso, "This okay?"

Inoichi nodded, swallowing as he shifted a little, changing the angle again. Desperate for release, he brought one hand up to pump his own member, unconsciously matching Shikaku's pace. Before long he could feel the Nara tense up, then shudder, collapsing on top of him. He smiled, it felt weird inside him, but good nonetheless. The only problem he now saw himself presented with was that Shikaku was laying on top of him, preventing his own orgasm as his hand couldn't move anymore due to the Nara's weight. Chuckling lightly, he waited for Shikaku to come back to him again.

"What's so damn funny?" his voice sounded tired, drawing another chuckle from the Yamanaka.

"You're cute when you cum, but eh… I can't right now, so get up or something, will ya?"

Shikaku smiled at him, a little disappointed, "So not good for you?"

Inoichi sighed silently, " _ Yes, _ just not enough, come on, Love…"

Shikaku pushed himself up, moaning as he felt himself slip out of the Yamanaka. But his eyes followed every move of his lover's hand as the blond jerked himself off. Cheeks pink, Inoichi bit his lip, it was a little embarrassing how Shikaku's eyes seemed glued to his actions, but at the same time… It was  _ hot. _ He moaned, crying out softly as his orgasm crashed over him for the second time today.

Shikaku smiled, and as Inoichi's eyes slowly opened again, he placed a soft kiss on his lover's lips, "Okay, so you're not usually that loud… Shame, really…"

Inoichi chuckled. They looked at each other for a moment, before they both burst out laughing.

"Oh,  _ god, _ Ichi… We  _ really  _ just…"

"I  _ know, _ " he wiped the tears of his face, "Dear  _ heavens, _ I  _ never _ … Oh my…"

Shikaku lazily pulled himself up a little, kissing Inoichi's lips again, mumbling against them, "Was that good for you, Ichi?"

He nodded, scrunching up his face a little as his nose ungracefully bumped against Shikaku's, "It was, Shikaku, really… It felt a little weird, but…" he swallowed, grabbing the other man and pulling him atop him so he could bury his face in the crook of Shikaku's neck, "I'm really glad it was with you. And… I sorta wanna do that again, just not…  _ Now _ … I'm tired…"

"Me too…" he kissed the man's neck softly, "Ichi… I know this'll probably sound really weird but, eh… Are we gonna sleep like this?"

"With you crushing my lungs?" he chuckled breathlessly, "No."

"No I mean…” Shikaku’s cheeks burned as he whispered, “No clothes…" 

"I guess… I mean, we could put our underwear back on, but… I dunno, that sounds kinda… wrong, right now…"

"Yeah… but this feels kinda weird too…"

Suddenly, Inochi chuckled, pushing the Nara up, "You're thinking about morning wood, aren't you?" watching his lover's shameful nod, he laughed out loud, "We'll deal with that in the morning, Love. For now, let's just go to sleep, shall we? We're probably going to have one  _ hell _ of a day tomorrow…" the blond sighed.

Shikaku studied his lover's face for a moment, "Whatever happens Ichi, I'm never leaving you again. If that means everything else turns to rubble, so be it. I love you, I  _ have _ loved you for most of my life. And I'm  _ never _ going back to not being allowed to love you, do you hear me? Never, Ichi. Never in my life."

Inoichi swallowed, tears stinging in his eyes, "Me neither, Love. I don't ever want to be without you again…"


End file.
